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Pros and Cons of Divorce Mediation in Oklahoma

Updated:
8/23/2024
Table of Contents

At Yarborough Law Group, our Oklahoma divorce attorneys understand that ending a marriage is legally complex and emotionally charged, even when both parties have good intentions.

Divorcing spouses often struggle to agree on terms like child custody and division of assets. When the lines of communication are still open but the spouses just can’t come to an agreement, many divorcing couples in Oklahoma consider mediation.

What Is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a collaborative approach to divorce where a neutral third party, a divorce mediator, facilitates communication and negotiation between divorcing spouses.

The mediator guides discussions on various divorce issues, including child custody arrangements, child support obligations, spousal support (alimony), and division of marital property. Their goal is to help both parties reach a mutually beneficial agreement outside of court.

7 Reasons to Choose Divorce Mediation

Pros of Divorce Mediation

Many Oklahoma couples who have decided to divorce find mediation to be a valuable tool. Here are some key advantages.

1. Help from an Impartial Mediator

Divorce involves both legal and emotional conflicts. A skilled mediator can facilitate discussions, ensure both parties are heard, and help them understand their rights and responsibilities. This can streamline the divorce process and reduce confusion.

2. Greater Influence on the Final Agreement

In a contested divorce that ends up in court, a judge makes the final decisions on child custody, child support, spousal support, and asset division. The spouses can argue their cases, but they must abide by the judge’s orders.

Through mediation, divorcing couples have more control over the terms of their final divorce agreement. They can tailor solutions that best suit their specific needs and circumstances rather than relying on a judge's rulings.

3. Faster Resolution to Your Divorce

Mediation, when successful, usually resolves a divorce faster than litigation. Court proceedings can be lengthy and bogged down by delays. Mediation allows couples to work toward a resolution at their own pace, avoiding the unpredictable timelines of court appearances.

4. Smoother Communication with a Reluctant Spouse

Mediation can be a helpful tool when a spouse is reluctant to agree to the divorce or the terms of the settlement. A skilled mediator can facilitate open communication and explore the underlying reasons behind the resistance. This can lead to a more amicable resolution and prevent a contentious court battle.

5. Cost-Effective Approach

Mediation is generally a cost-effective option. Both parties split the mediator's fees, reducing overall costs compared to hiring divorce lawyers for a long court battle.

6. Flexible Scheduling

Mediation sessions are scheduled at the convenience of both parties. This allows for greater flexibility compared to the rigid scheduling of court appearances. With mediation, you can work around career and childcare commitments, reducing additional stress.

7. Positive Start to Your Co-Parenting Relationship

Mediation can foster better communication and cooperation between divorcing couples, especially those with children. The process encourages a focus on solutions and reaching a fair outcome for all parties involved, which can lay a positive foundation for co-parenting.

3 Reasons Not to Choose Mediation During Your Divorce

Cons of Divorce Mediation

While mediation offers many advantages, it's not the right fit for every divorcing couple. Here are some potential drawbacks to consider.

1. Lack of an Attorney Advocate

Unlike a divorce lawyer, a mediator doesn't advocate for one spouse over the other. They guide discussions but do not provide legal advice or represent your interests in court.

If you feel more comfortable having a lawyer fight for your rights, especially if you are concerned about hidden assets or an unequal distribution of marital property, mediation may not be the best option.

2. Cost of the Mediator

Mediation is cheaper than litigation. However, the divorcing spouses must still pay the mediator’s fees.

Some spouses can agree on fair terms for the divorce without the help of a mediator. In that case, they can save money by filing an unassisted divorce.

3. Unsuitability for Power Imbalances

Some marriages have significant power imbalances. There may be domestic violence, financial abuse, or coercion. Mediation is not appropriate for such cases, and the vulnerable spouse should have a qualified family law attorney to represent their interests.

How Long Does Mediation Take in a Divorce?

Just like in a divorce without a mediator, multiple factors can influence the length of mediation:

  • Case Complexity: The more legal issues and disputed facts involved, the longer it will likely take.
  • Parties' Willingness to Compromise: A genuine desire to cooperate can expedite the process.
  • Mediator's Approach: Some mediators take a quicker, results-oriented approach, while others prefer a more methodical process.

Many mediated divorces are resolved within two to four sessions. In simpler cases, the divorcing spouses might resolve all issues in a few hours. More complex cases with multiple sticking points may require multiple sessions spread over days or weeks.

No matter how long it takes, the timeline is flexible. The divorcing spouses can set their own pace, taking breaks and structuring sessions as needed. Ultimately, the goal is to find a solution that works for everyone involved.

Start Your New Life — Consult a Divorce Attorney in Oklahoma

If you're considering divorce in Oklahoma, you can discuss both mediation and litigation with a qualified divorce attorney at Yarborough Law Group. We can help you understand the pros and cons of each option and determine the best approach for your specific circumstances.

We understand that divorce is a difficult decision, and we are here to guide you through the process with compassion and skill. Contact us today to schedule a consultation and discuss how we can help you move forward and start your new life.

Cole Yarborough

Cole Yarborough, a top graduate from Oklahoma City University School of Law, brings a unique blend of experience to Yarborough Law Group. His background as a private investigator, process server, and legal intern, combined with a family legacy in law and law enforcement, equips him with a comprehensive understanding of both criminal and civil law, making him a formidable advocate in various legal matters.

Going Through an Oklahoma Divorce? We’re on Your Side

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FAQ

What shouldn’t I say or do during divorce mediation?

  • Blameful Statements: Avoid accusations like "You ruined the marriage" or "This is all your fault"; instead, focus on "I" statements to express needs and concerns.
  • Threats and Ultimatums: Using threats like "I'll take everything in court" will shut down communication.
  • Irrelevant Information: Don't bring up past arguments or unrelated details; keep the conversation focused on finances, property division, and your children’s best interests.
  • Financial Dishonesty: Hiding assets or income hurts the process and can lead to legal trouble.
  • Legal Strategies: Discussing tactics with your lawyer is fine, but don't use mediation to strategize against your spouse.

When should you not use mediation?

  • Domestic Violence: If there's a history of abuse, mediation can be unsafe.
  • Unequal Power Dynamics: If one spouse feels pressured or intimidated, mediation won't be productive.
  • Unrealistic Expectations: If either spouse is unwilling to compromise on their expectations, mediation will likely fail.
  • Breakdown in Communication: If communication is severely strained and civil conversation is difficult, consider other avenues.‍
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